I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
