When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
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