i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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