Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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