I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
