I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
