No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Someone signed my nipple.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
