I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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