loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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