But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
