apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
