Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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