do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
