she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
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How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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