There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
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I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
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Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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