found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
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