Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
