Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
