Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
