Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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