When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
