I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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