His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Randomize