Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
