Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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