I think i sorta joined a cult last night
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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