I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
