One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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