i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
