Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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