You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
