Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize