Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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