My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
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You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
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Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
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