So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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