You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
