Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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