dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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