He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize
