I skipped work to stalk him.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
