im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
