Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
So squirting runs in the family.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
A+ Viking dick
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
