My friends, they love my intelligence
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Randomize
