Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
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All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
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Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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