Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
