doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Randomize
