Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
