You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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