You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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