One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
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i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
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Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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