Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
