So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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