dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I think i peed on brittanys purse
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Randomize