But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
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He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
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