Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
