You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize