good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
