I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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