I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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