I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
