Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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