Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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