i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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