We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
