mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
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