I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I deserve this hangover.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I think my moral compass just broke
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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