Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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