it hurts more in the daytime
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
